Thursday, September 16, 2010

And so it begins....

This week did fly by. I don't really feel that I accomplished anything worth mentioning. My brain refuses to cooperate right now. No chance to learn or even review the dialogue, focus on my packing list or what ever else I feel I should have done but haven't. I don't even know if I am actually missing something or have overlooked to get done, since, as already said, my brain is not there right now. I wake up in the middle of the night thinking about what I still have to do, only to begin the day with this nagging feeling that I should be doing something without remembering what it was. The boys are coming in for hugs every once in a while (they don't do it too often anymore these days, which I guess is my own perception) and Agnes is in a state of minor upset most of the time and comes running for hugs and cuddles frequently!! I feel like I'm betraying them going away for 9 weeks where I should be here for them. No matter how much logic I apply to justify this, it still feels that way. I'm sure that, once I'm out of the picture, everything will settle and they all will manage just fine, even if things might run different then normal which can be a good experience too, right?
My suitcases(!!) (I suspect that I overpacked) are all packed and should be ok with their accumulated weight, I'm still contemplating if I should take a carrie-on, just for the comfort, or skip it......and then again, I guess I'll take it, just so I don't have a couple of little things to carry but only that one and my mat. Hope I can bring my mat as sort of carry-on?? Will find out tomorrow. Have my ticket, Visa , shuttle-service receipt, net-book is charged so are my cellphone and I-pod. I guess I'm set on that account, or......???

This weeks practice was reduced to only two times, one less then I had envisioned.
Monday I went to class to meet one last time with Carla, who was teaching as mentioned in my previous entry. Then I had planned to join Jane on Tuesday in her last class before she would leave on Wednesday but couldn't make it in the last minute due to being held up by shopping. So I went to catch her after class to wish her a safe trip. She is now somewhere between Portland and San-Francisco driving along the I-5.
I had kept Thursday for my last practice and planned my errands around it, to catch Peter teaching one more time before TT. He is a very motivating teacher, who is so much fun to have on the podium. Well, there was a change in the teachers schedule and instead we were taught by Owl. As with all the teachers in my studio, I'm convinced we have the best so having Owl instead of Peter was just as great!  Owl has a very quite teaching manner but boy does she make sure you do as she says!!!! I, again, didn't have a too great class. My 'monkey-mind' was totally out of control and a general feeling of worry was with me the entire time resulting in a nearly impossible to ignore need to empty my stomach. I have NEVER felt like that in class and had to fight the urge for the whole 90 min.. Once it was over, all was well again which made it an even bigger nuisance.  I'm not good in accepting feelings that make me feel vulnerable and weak. I truly hope I don't have to face too much of them in the coming weeks. That would definitely take some fun out of it!!!
Tonight Max is going to wrestle the cooking pans and delight me/us with a delicious dinner! He likes to cook, is pretty good at it and best of all cleans up afterwards!!! Then it will be family-piling on the couch, we are VERY close after all, and endless cuddles!!!!! I don't count on catching a good nights sleep, being the last one before leaving, and then the departure tomorrow.... guess TT has finally arrived!  


  1. Safe travels! You are going to be great.

  2. Bettina! It's Juliana from your home studio!
    I hope everything goes wonderfully for you! Can't wait to hear stories when you get home!

  3. I hope you will have a wonderful time at TT, I will be following your adventure.