Friday, August 20, 2010


As Chrissy said on Fb today: as of this day it's 4 more weeks before TT starts!!!
Where do I stand in my preparation leading up to the event?
I don't have my flight ticket yet, don't  have all my little gissmos together (detergent, dish soap, cutting board etc.), am still working on the dialogue and as of late my practice seems to paddle back with enormous speed. But being who I am I do have all of my outfits for the classes together, which doesn't mean that I couldn't have more ;-). So there is still a lot on my plate, but I have to pass the time somehow until the 19th of September, don't I ?!!
So how about the first onset of nerves???
Today in class, while being in "Hands to Feet" and looking at my wrinkly toes zooming closer, just before turning my face towards my legs, I had a sudden feeling of everything not being right: me being there in the class at that moment, going away for 9 weeks and taking part at all seemed to be utterly wrong! I caught myself gibbering away in my mind and told myself to keep concentrating on what I was doing and to keep the 'monkey-mind' at bay. It worked for the class, but doubt was back soon thereafter. I'm not even sure if it is doubt about me going to TT or more anticipation of things to come???
One thing in particular, I'm NOT looking forward to: one hears and reads a lot about the emotional breakdowns that are a part of the training and most, if not all, students will face at some point during the 9 weeks. Well, I wouldn't consider myself emotional weak but there are some things (skeletons) in my minds closet, that I don't want to be coming up and into my way while at TT!
Carefully packed away and locked behind a solid door, I'm happy they are where they are and, really don't feel like reconnecting! But how will I respond to them when my guard is down due to lack of sleep???
I guess this is where the training already starts, at least for me: stop worrying about stuff you can't change and stop anticipating things that might never happen, but live in the moment, go with the flow and address what is at hand at that moment with the tools you got!
So here is me trying to keep a clear head, get my practice back on track , get all the things on my to-do-list done before the time runs out and maybe get the entire dialogue memorized before I arrive at TT. Wish me luck!!

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